There are plenty of subjects I've could have chosen to write about today and I certainly had the intention to. Instead, I've decided to write and address everyone.
8 of Mars. The International women's day. Two years ago I wrote about this day. One year ago I wrote once again about this day. Still wishing that the need for such a day to fade into oblivion. Such thing have obviously not happened yet and I can probably take for granted it wont happen during my lifetime. This year, I wont talk about this specific day. This year, it's about being a woman, living in a world that a times seems to hate that existence.
As many of the people in my generation, I live most of my life through the internet. Making friendships with people from all over the globe and learning things I didn't knew before. Like most of my generation, I've come in full contact with the toxicity flourishing on the internet, smudging the joy of all the interesting meeting I've been allowed to have.
I'm not your typical woman. In many way, I reject it. From the way I dress to the way I cut my hair. I enjoy being different. Gender is not very important to me, especially not my own. It's to the point I've questioned my own gender. I don't feel like my gender. I can't identify with being cis but I'm definitely not transgender either. This ambiguous relationship to my own gender makes me question, what am I? Why can't I be allowed to be a human?
There have been plenty of times when I've been mistaken for a man while making comments in forums and on Youtube. It have fascinated me. Why do people assume I'm a man. Even when addressing issues of gender equality people have made the assumption I'm male. That despite there is nothing that could allow them to make that conclusion.
I want to be human before I'm a gender, yet I do allow myself to be a woman. Because in the eyes of the world, that's what I am. When people look at me, that what they are going to see. While I've yet to encounter true discrimination I still stand up for the women who do. Because not every woman is as lucky as I am.
The true toxicity is always seen through the internet.
It's difficult to not react when I see people using words like "slut" and "whore" about women. It's hard to not feel resentful. They are words that are used with far to much ease. And those who use them don't get called chastised as much as they should.
It's hard to see the comments to a video containing a woman turn in to reviews about the woman's looks and body. Every part of her becomes scrutinized. Not a word in my direction yet I feel objectified and offended on her behalf.
I'm not the kind to enjoy video games but at times I have faced discussions regarding women in games. Maybe because I lack the context I have a hard time accepting the depiction of women in games that seems to be the norm. It's a weary thing, to repeat the same thing all over, time after another. I don't hate sexy women and I wouldn't complain about women with a generous chest unless they were the only thing I could see. I wouldn't have a problem if I could look at those women and feel like they are realistic.
No matter the fantasy, somethings are to much so. Anyone who've seen the impossible jiggle of a G-cup should understand that no woman would enjoy something like than. It's unrealistic because it would hurt or because it looks stupid. Two things most people would take measures to avoid. Within the world of gamin however, it's conveniently ignored.
Things are connected. Reasons. Norms. Ideals. Things are the same. Differentiated simply through scale. There is no difference between a rape in New York, Stockholm, Nairobi or Calcutta. The basic structures that treat women as secondary is the same. The rape-culture is the same. The ignorance of the same is the identical. The refusal to acknowledge the true source of the problem is not different. Every time a woman is hurt simply because she is a woman doing the same as man, it's wrong.
We are humans. We should treat each other as humans. With respect and dignity. I wonder why that seems so hard for such an amount of people.
This year I wanted to talk about being a woman. I wanted to address everyone, choosing English rather than Swedish as usual. I will speak up any day of the year, because I can, because I should, because there is no way I can't.
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